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I will pray for you and your family during this most difficult time and hope that someday God will provide the comfort you so much deserve. I am so sorry for you. I wish I could do something. Your daughter was so lucky to have had you. When my wife was 8 she lost her mother and then went thought abuse sexual and physical at the hands of her father and brother. I am going through my own grief re children. But I just wanted to say how lucky your child was to be loved so much by such a a wonderful person.
Thank you, Moira! Thank you for trying to encourage me- you did. I have always been very emotional, sensitive, but somehow that makes me an exaggerator or weak to them. I love my family but I knew this would be how they would act. I am still trying to get past that, not connect it to my sister. My whole life has been a series of people leaving me, and more then just moving on- ignoring me, leaving without a word, erasing me. Something must be very wrong with me, my family, to have this keep happening.
I am very lonely and I am just trying to resign myself to this is what I get. I love my family. I love the Lord too. I know he has a plan and is with me, holding me up. Thank you for the hugs and prayers! A big hug to you as well. She was 37 years old with 6 young children. She was a hard sister to connect to and be around since childhood, I even almost had decided to not take my one a year vac to visit her anymore bc it was too painful.
I dont understand that!!? I still. And the kids would visit with her throughout the day and then next minute be wild, be playing- oh the pain that brought! The doctors gave her months and she died in 3. She said God would heal her and to say otherwise was disbelief.
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Yes, I am angry at her, her husband, God, but I am everything else and in between as well. I am struggling to find anyone who will let me talk about it and unable to make sense of it. The aftermath and changes are as bad as going through her dying. I have no friends, they have all cut me off or said hurtful things. My heart is broken and I am so tired of pretending I am ok and getting better.
I already asked for the anniversary day off from work, but no in my family understands why. Life goes on, keeps going forward, but I feel this was my line crossed. This was the slap in the face that things will never be better or right. Yes i have some problem related to death now a days i can t even sleep cause of thinking death and losing my parents some day etc i dont have any one in life to talk every one is fake.. Hi Kristi. Im so sorry for your loss.
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Have you considered counselling? It may help. Sending love, hugs and prayers to you. Take care. Kristi, i am so very sorry to hear your story. It breaks my heart you had to lose your sister like that. I would like you to know you are not alone in this world. For some reason, most people are not equipped to comfort or allow for raw human emotion. That makes our pain seem even worse. Can i suggest you find a good book on grief?? I hope you can find some strong relationships maybe a grief support group that can help you along this difficult journey. I lost my lover 2 months back, feels like i just heard the news.
He was hit by a car while walking far away from the street. Life changed. I know he is gone but my mind is still failing to process it. I see him every where. I remember all the hugs, kisses, smiles, the looks he gave me. I was the only one and i loved him just as much. We made plans. I was supposed to be the last face he saw before going to bed at night and the first to see in the morning.
We dreamt of how he was supposed to kiss me good morning everyday. He promised me he wasnt going anywhere and now he is gone. I feel lost, i feel betrayed. I feel like i have no much to live for. Some days are easier. Will it ever get better. I now tell his pic, i will see u again soon and when i get home, i want u to be the one welcoming me. I feel you, he passed away on 6th Nov and I have still not come to terms of losing my soul mate. We made love on the 5th night, laughed, cuddled and passed out, next morning he was shaking uncontrollably and in a few minutes he was gone, right before my eyes, I thought it was a nightmare..
But I know for sure, we will meet on the other side. I am feeling all of these things you have described. I lost my husband of almost 3 years just 18 days ago. He had a massive heart attack while being taken into police custody on a bogus warrant.
The pain is overwhelming. I have no desire to go on, i long for his arms holding me again. I never knew grief was so horrible. I have never known pain this intense. Everything, literally, reminds me of him. He was my lover, my best friend, my confidante, my partner in crime, my ride or die, the only person I truly knew who had my back right or wrong and the only one i ever completely trusted.
Download [PDF] One Woman Walking: Love, Loss and Liberation- A Journey through Divorce Andree Eva
I will always love you with all of me. Watermelon forternity baby! He had just had shoulder replacement surgery and was doing well. I rushed home to find him dead on the floor. After 40 years of marriage the only man I have ever loved was gone just like that. I am surrounded by support. But the one person that would give me the support I needed is gone. I sleep with his shirt. It has his smell. All the emotions listed in this article I have felt.
I know I will go on for the sake of all who love me. I have to. But a part of me is gone. We shared a bond that any couple would dream of. He often told me I loved him too much. I am heartbroken , but that is the price of love. Pamela I just lost my significant other and best friend of 25 years to cancer. Such a terrible disease. I am really struggling to come to terms of what my life will be without her. I will pray for you and hope you may find comfort someday. They were jumping and robbing my neighbor and my mom went outside and yelled for my brother to go out and help the kid from getting beat up.
I was asleep after a long day of work btw.. So anyways my brother ran outside and broke up the fight as my mom watched from our driveway. The 3 boys ran to a Honda Civic and took off. As they took off at a high rate of speed, they swerved onto the sidewalk and hit my mom. Witnesses say my mom held onto the hood screaming and the driver jerked the car to the right and she flew off and hit her head.
She died right there. Idk how to handle it. She was my best friend. I feel so lost without her trying to move on everyday and live out my life but all I do now is fear death. I really fear it. Losing a parent is so hard. I recently just lost my father. The heartache is so unbearable. My sister has said its helped her understand grief a little more each time.
Have you tried going to bereavement group therapy? I lost my son Nov , he was the greatest treasure I have been in love with. I am having a hard time Danny I love and miss you always son lu dad. Albert, So sorry for your loss. No parent should ever have to bury their child. I pray that God will give you comfort at some point.
It is not wrong to feel empty. I lost my mom on March 4th I feel like I will never be okay. I often cry at night because I miss her so much. I often think about calling her just to hear her voice again only to realize I never will be able to hear her voice again. And it sucks, it F-ing sucks because I feel guilty that I never spent that much time with her the years leading up to her death, so did she die knowing I love her? I hope she did. Roman what are you doing here?
Seriously this is just so disrespectful of others telling their stories about grief and reaching out. How rude and insensitive!!!!!!! Everyone—including my mother in law—has told me to move on. I was with my husband for 3 years. Married for 1 year out o fthe 3. Nothing that i can feel like i need to be happy for. We even picked out names. My father in law is in battle with me, there were 4 things i wanted to keep that belonged to my husband. His jacket, His phone, His shoes, and his wedding outfit. I asked for these things from my in laws.
I gave up the money. They kept everything.. So finally decided i would give up the phone. For the first time in my life, i feel like God is so unfair to me. I smile at work.. I cannot have a single lighthearted conversation with my fathe rin law nor my mother in law. Nothing seems to make me happy. My husband has never let me cry. If i did, he would turn the world for me. Sincere thoughts are with you, regardless of how long you where together, just having something of his will be a cherished item. Its so sad that the family are not allowing you to have this, I know they are grieving too and maybe they will eventually hand over once their grieving has softened.
Everyone grieves differently and no one can tell anyone how to etc. I just hope that they do see the thought in it for you and that your not alone now surrounded by supportive group of friends and family. Its fresh, its raw and it hurts like hell. Focus on you for now and your memories. I hope this turns out positive, sending hugs xxx.
Families can be quite insensitive during these times. In fact down right toxic and selfish, remember;. Genesis — Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Material things are trivial compared to those memories which belong to you. However, it is not your belated husbands parents position to decide whats to be done with his personal belongs. Those belong to you and ONLY you.
Should you chose to give any item away to whomever, then so it be. Your in-laws should only offered you support and understanding to your decisions. Should you give any item away to them, it would only be right for them to be appreciative for your doing so. The money is also a great concern. They have over stepped their boundaries and ignored your be the sole inherent to your late husbands estate. I would not allow any of this.
Any decisions made with in the first year will be made out of reaction and not reason. Its during that time that Volutes take advantage of the weak. I sincerely hope you found strength and challenged what they have robbed you of. I offer you this tool of measuring the value these folks offer to your life. If their presents brings you stress, pay attention. If the relationship is one sided meaning all effort is from you pay attention.
If you dont see how they offer any value to your life, then by all means remove them. Holding on to and complying with toxic relationships will only steel your happiness and will offer you nothing towards an healthy relationship. So dont be afraid to rock the boat and have boundaries. Who cares if they get angry with you or put pressure kn you to do.
Hi sweetheart you have a lot to live for and your whole life ahead of you. God will bring you through this. Sending angels your way. May God Bless You. I am so happy that I found this tonight. I lost my mother on December 23, and my life partner on December 27, My partner was with me while my mother was passing but then he died unexpectedly of a heart attack four days later.
I knew I was not crazy but also knew that I was damaged. I want to be strong for everyone around me, especially my boys. Thank you for letting me know that this will happen for a while. I am crazy right now, but it is okay. I lost my spouse of 30 years in Dec. She died of stage 4 cancer, and it has turned my life upside down. I miss her all the time. I isolate, cry, yell.
Trying to get on with things but nothing makes a lot of sense. This is so hard. I was with my husband for almost 13 years 3yrs married I took him to Key West for his birthday. We were having an amazing time. The day of his birthday I made reservations to a restaurant and asked if they could sing Happy Birthday to him and they agreed. We spent half the day at the beach and we were on the way back to where we were staying. I stopped to take a pic of a tree and he went ahead on his scooter. I rode my scooter to the place we were staying and as I turned right on the street we were staying at I saw him on the ground two women were by his side.
He was bleeding out of his nose and ears. I was in a panic and rode my scooter to the police car that was on the cross street. An ambulance was called and he was taken to the lower keys hospital. I was not allowed to go in the ambulance. A good Samaritan offered to take me. I was told to hurry as they were going to fly my husband to Miami via helicopter as soon as they got him to the local hospital.
To my surprise that was not done. They called me to the back room where they had done a bore hole on his head. The tools they used were dripping blood and they basically told me he was going to pass. They sent him to Miami via helicopter I was stuck in Key West we live in Illinois I had to return my scooter, keys to the condo and I had to figure out how I was going to get to Miami.
After being in Miami for 21 days we were told my husband was brain dead. I have never experienced do much pain in my life. My husband turned 32 and did not get to live his 32nd birthday. I never got the chance to sing him Happy Birthday. I am basically a walking robot. I get up and I go to work. I leave work and come home and cry my eyes out.
Knowing that I will not be able to hug him, kiss him, talk to him or spend time with him for as long as I am living is so painful. My faith has been tempted a lot. Our dreams, our story was destroyed. What purpose does God have in taking the ones we love? It hurts so much because the world just keeps on going. I have to pretend like everything is fine in front of people while I am hurting so bad inside. Being with someone you love so much every moment you can and losing them overnight is extremely painful.
My heart is with all of you that have lost a loved one. God less all of you. I do not want to live without him, I lost the love of my life, my soulmate, my husband. Hello Jacob. I lost my mom recently and this made my heart break for you. I hope you can find happiness one day. Know you were loved by him and he will always be with you.
Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it? How often—will it be for always? The same leg is cut off time after time. The first plunge of the knife into the flesh is felt again and again. Lewis, A Grief Observed. I lost my husband and soul mate on the 28 December , we too only got 13 years together of marriage, I walk around lifeless, filled with emotions of pain, our three children lost their daddy, their rock.
It was so unexpected too, I dont think even having the opportunity to say goodbye makes a difference. I would like to share a few poems I have written to express my grief. Im hoping they help on this site. If I heard your voice again I would capture it in a jar To keep with me for evermore though close yet so far To feel your hand entwined in mine would calm my aching heart I know that your with me, we will never be apart Your eyes always filled with sparkle so shiny and bright One day we will be together in the softest white light.
My husband died in and for rhe first two years I had a lot to take care of. Tbis article helped. I lost my grandma, that i really loved I grew up with , she was like a mother to me. At first i cried a lot but it was weird because it seem unreal i was trying not to cry. Its been a month, i have pain every night and day! He died of a stroke due to an overdose.
He was 32 when passed away. I am going through an emotional drowimg process. I have my 25 year old that lives with me. Ever since my sons passing I am so fearful for my 25 year olds safety in every form. I do feel like I am goimg crazy. Grief is a horrific feelings.
It eats you up menatally, physicall and emotionally. My daughter had the audacity to call me paranoid. The nerve. For these holidays to say I was broken beyond belief is an understatement to say the least. Can I explain it no I can not. It hurts so bad. It geels like it will never end. The coming of the date of his death is so overehelming. I feel so crazy oh lord. I await lingering in pain to be able to be quote on quote normal again. Not going to happen. Throw me a life saver please. Only time only time I hope will help me heal.
Oh how it hurts. As I write my tears just rolls with such sorrow. But in reading others stories I know that I am not alone. Hi Margarita, your post was very upsetting to read, my heart really does go out to you. I just want you to know that this will get easier I promise. I speak from my own personal experience. Your body and mind grow around it in order to survive. Try not to be angry at your daughter, she is grieving as well for her brother and is taking it out on you.
You must stick together during this difficult time. Look after yourself and concentrate on getting yourself through this by focusing on small steps. Your post resonates with me. They were 5 and I was a single mom for 9 years before I met my second husband. David and I were only married 1 year and he was only 46 when he was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma. David battled like a warrior, but passed away in August of During his illness my father and aunt also passed away-I was the executor of their estates-it felt like blow-after-blow-after-blow, but I was able to keep going because I knew David needed me as his caregive, and my teenage son also needed me.
Like you I worry endlessly about both of my sons. Their safety, their health. It is not an exaggeration to say that on a daily basis I have thoughts that one of them will die. It seems to be happening more often and more intensely. If God really exist I hope my baby is in paradise with his mother But the only reason I do not commit suicide.
Is my other kid. My mother passed away 4 weeks before Christmas She was sick. My father who should have been with her was instead staying at a hotel. She died alone and scared. I miss her so much and am so broken over this. Since this my father is now selling all their belongings and house and is spending every dime they ever had. I have a hard time forgiving him. That was his wife whom he abandoned when she was ill. She confronted him of cheating 2 days prior to dying and now he plays the grieving husband. I just want her back. She was everything to me. She was selfless in ways you dont often find.
Miss you mom. Love you always. I read most of the comments. I send my condolences and love to everyone. I sit here exactly one year and one month from the day my then 24 year old son died. He complained constantly about how awful the medication made him feel. He finally made the decision to go off all meds and try to self medicate using CBD, which has helped some people with very difficult to control epilepsy.
His seizures worsened. He was in and out of the emergency room regularly. And one day, he died, in his sleep. It is so sad, so unfair, he was an incredibly bright, beautiful, talented young man. He was loved by many. There wer people at his Celebration of Life service, and people came out of the woodwork to tell me his impact on their lives. The night he died, I found out he had spent it consoling a homeless man, who had lost his wife and son. He would do that, help anyone, give them the coat off his back, even if it was below freezing outside. He was a really good, loving, kind person.
But that thought gets me no where. I might not. My Mom tries to tell me that I just need to have faith. I told her that it has nothing to do with faith. My friend tells me to go see a counselor, and yes, I can do that, but what are they going to do? Somehow make it different? Make me feel supported? But in the end of the day, the cold hard facts remain: Parker is gone, and there is nothing I could have done or can do about it. I have to just accept it. Or I guess I can choose not to accept it, only making my suffering even greater. Most of the time I just let the feelings come and be.
And yet, I wander through feelings of anger, rage, grief, guilt, frustration, and feel mostly how totally unfair it all is. I wonder sometimes why? But I will never get an answer. My mother told me she has faith that he is safe now, and no longer in pain, and with God. I am sorry. That is the truth about how I feel. But that is the truth. For hypnotherapy, check out Alba Weinman and Grace Smith. Best of luck. Family Constellation is great for systems issues. For personal trauma there is also Somatic Experiencing from Peter Levine.
Also Rolfing Movement helps you with the body part of the change. Much more subtle and lasting.. And yes, I agree with the article. I have studied ALL of Robbins material, all the videos, cds, books, and i have also taken his coaching course. I did not walk out of the UPW, but I wanted to. My husband was also there. But I did go to the bathroom everytime we had to jump, clap, shoult, hug everybody I wanted more, more content, not a rock concert. I still think he is a genius, but the large mass events are not useful.
I attended attended a wealth expo in nj. Tony presented on sat the first day of the workshop. He was very intense lot of Great info but the crowd was enormous people. The room was very hot. He spoke for about 5 hrs. Amazing he stayed up there that long. There was a lot of dancing and back rubbing. It was great to see him live but felt I gained more from reading his books, watching I tube videos and listening to cds.
I have 11 years of college tough to retain a lot of info especially in bad seats and hot room. I thank u for Sharing your story it would be better to attend an event like yours with a lot less people. I have never been to his full days events but I can relate to if you can self fulfill yoirself and on track with your goals and do not need extra motivation and can find inspiration other ways , the training might be too general.
I think everyone has the right to feel the way they do about anything, TR included, even if he's the best on the planet at what he does. I am of the opinion that anybody doing what he does may sound cheesy, weird, like they're a con or whatever negative things people may think of him. Nevertheless, he has made a name for himself, so I believe people get excited just by the thought of being 'led' or trained by him; he's got charisma, he's a star, not very different from Michael Jackson, for example, with all his weirdness.
We could say Michael left a much more significant legacy, that is, his music, his art, his moonwalk, but TR isn't that different - one day people will remember the weird clap, his voice, his mannerisms and stuff and say he was "awesome", unforgettable. As for his cursing yes, that bothers me too, I see no point in that whatsoever. Apart from that, I do think he's a great personality. Now, would I have walked out on him?
Maybe, maybe not. Maybe he lost momentum? He's only human, even if he himself does not remember that at times, he's human. Of course, but who isn't? We just don't have that big an audience in front of us, hypnotized by out words. If we did, I have no doubt we would behave as narcissistically as he does. Or perhaps worse? Great article. That, I respect. Thank You for voicing your truthful opinion. There is free eBook sample up to sharing 4 if you are interested to read.
I attended all of Tony's events and his leadership training 20 years ago. Still today I use and think of what I learned, and because I learned it, was able to survive and make it through "a time of incredibly unfortunate circumstances" that began 9 years ago. I did the work, many times, the fact that his style resonated with me was my 'good fortune'. I have never regretted the time or the money, certainly not the "embedded knowledge" into who I am now. Life took some turns, I survived, and then thrived. I am happy. I hope you are too. Just out of curiosity.. I'm an ENTJ. Your article shouts of Analytical personality traits.
Awesome stuff mate, power to ya. Thank you for honest feedback I experienced same thing at Noah St Johns one big long week of sale pitches. How could someone who genuinely wants to help people—all people who have struggles in life — charge thousands of dollars? If he were Retired I might let him slide!
Great comments! The thing that recently turned me off was his constant cursing he does. I saw the documentary I am Not Your Guru or something like that and was turned off because of his constant use of curse words. I am not a prude but I see no value in the constant use. Just my opinion. Tony is a great speaker and motivator, but the rest of the speakers are just slick commercials trying to get you to buy and buy now!!! I felt like I paid good money to sit in a room and have people preach to me why I should part with my money and make them rich. Buyer beware. Real Estate flips do NOT happen in 3 days.
You are NOT using their money Investing in stocks, research yourself. Do your homework! They get rich, not you. Amazing how many stupid people fall for this! Opinions are my own. I watched one of his Netflix specials Honestly I think he's a great salesman teetering on being a con man You said it best about him thinking he's more enlightened than everyone else I noticed he just spouts off the first thing that comes to his head when he's trying to solve someone's deep problem and then acts like poof problem solved and his answer is like the word of God.
I think he's a narcassist. My experience with TR was hearing his advertisement on TV. His voice was incredibly loud and super positive. Like one of those salesmen that are super over the top,big smiley teeth bleating at you like you're going to die if you dont buy their product. The second experience was driving down to the mountain with my 4 kids and my sister who put his tape on.
Having come from an environment where addiction and violence was rife and wanting to heal and grow,I listened, with no judgment. After I got back,I started feeling worse about myself. It all seemed unachievable and over the top. Its all about eating, exercise, money,positive, positive, positive. Wham wham thank you man. No frigging breathe to take,no space to allow processing to take place and most of all,self empowerment comes from within not by someone dictating what someone else should do.
A good therapists helps you to uncover you and doesn't try telling you that you need to spend thousands of dollars to come back cos you still need me. I feel that Tony himself is desperately trying to make money under the guise of fixing others and leading with his ego instead of healing himself. He has a desperation about him. Loosing his voice will be his greatest gift where he will have to truly sit with himself and listen. Regards S. I think you are spot on He is def still that abused boy down inside trying to speak and money his way into his own approval. I truly hope he is healed I attended one of his seminars in San Francisco when he first started out over 26 years ago for free.
I traded advertising space for 2 bad seats way on top. His stuff worked and I was very successful within 5 yrs. I also received all of his tapes free and listen to them over thousand times. I know his greatness, but I learned more off his tapes and reading his books. All the knowledge is in his CD's and books. Save thousand by skipping the hype and focus on the materials available online. He copied Jim Rome's work and took it to the highest levels. He is one of the greatest influential people on earth.
I have been considering going to one of the UPW seminars. I almost bought a ticket recently actually. This was very insightful. However, he's a business man, huge company, needs the sales. He's made such an impact on my life but I have no desire to see him live. It's like going to a star trek or flat earth convention.
We are also extremely economically driven. We believe that increasing wealth will solve all our problems. Sure, it'll pay all your bills, buy you some shit, but in the end, only the human connection can truly make us happy or fulfilled. I let go of my shit, i had money, but now i'm happily getting by on what I need. After living in several developing countries My drive for money isn't there anymore. Think of it like this. Guys like him don't exist in the developing world. I'm not saying they live better than us. They don't, but man. They're so much happier than we'll ever be.
For them relationships are important, for us chasing money and buying stupid shit is important. You have it figured out. I have it figured out. Tony doesn't have it figured out. Everything you said I'm generally very skeptical about people whose life story goes something like this: "I was uneducated and jobless and then I became a life coach, earned millions of money by helping people and I'm now rich and successful". This usually means that they had no knowledge or skills to improve their own life in an ordinary way, so they improved it by "helping people" and it usually means: selling people what they want to hear - easy solutions, hope and promises.
I've listened to several Tony's audio books and found them useful to a certain extant. I did get something from his books. On the other hand they are a little simplified and disregard human psychology in many ways. Humans are complex and complicated creatures. There are no shortcuts in life, although we all would like them. Sometimes one insight or a new idea or perspective can help us change, but many other times most?
You don't need overpriced seminars, because they are always just repeating the same. People usually attend those seminars because of the energy. The energy of many people being together united with the same goal is exciting and it makes them feel good for a few days. If they continue going to these seminars - they get addicted to the feeling of excitement and "everything is possible" attitude. So they go on and on from one similar seminar to another, while their life stays more or less the same or gets even worse.
This sometimes happens even to the life coach himself. He gets addicted to "being high all the time" and he starts to crave his own seminars, just like his participants! Human body requires calmness and balance. If you make it overly excited all the time, it will pull you to the other direction very soon very hard. This means that your chances to experience depression rise.
And once you fall down, you will need more and more energy to go up and so you end up pushing your body completely out of the balance. This can't be healthy and productive, not even in the short run, less alone in the long one. Many people are addicted to their life coaches and psychiatrists.
Don't become addicted and too attached to anything. Read a book, if you find a useful idea or two - try to implement them in your life, if they work - great, if they don't - move on. Be smart and keep your money. I recently attended UPW, I walked in after reading negative and positive comments but I came completely with an open mind.
I decided to pick up and create some rituals and slowly get my mental and physical health up to where I want it to be. I decided to pay to do it for myself. I met great people, and I learned things from them as well as the speakers and Tony. What I took from the event is that Tony is a wonderful businessman. The way their marketing strategy was amazing, and I know we all hate something being sold to us but the way he advertises his seminars is remarkable and we can learn from that.
He uses the speakers and partners he has to talk about the programs and they had like 10 minute talks about the programs for business and stuff. Honestly not as bad as I read about endless advertising of his other events on other forums. What this means is to find and help yourself.
Date With Destiny focuses on building relationships a lot more in depth from my understanding. Yes, the dancing is over the top. Did I do it? I also went alone, knowing no one there. It was amazing. No one made you do that. My point is that you go to the event, leave early and take what you felt was important from the event. And apparently what was important to you is that the whole thing was not what you expected.
Saying you dislike something without ever trying it is But even so, you need to think. I say that with all the love in my heart. He has to charge thousands because he has NO choice! He needs more mansions and yachts! Give him your money! Young lady You will be successful and a leader. Your insight is beyond your years. Older enough to he your grandmother, or great-grandmother. My comments were in August. To be fair That would be the person he started under, Jim Rohn.
Tony then took that and decided to dive deep into neuroscience and psychology. There are 4 different psychological types in the crowd when you present and then there are many variables and circumstances for each one of those. He rather focus on rudimentary tactics to get MANY people rather than focus on please then minority of the crowd people like you who just want him to cut to the meat and potatoes of the information.
There is a scientific reason to the dancing. Not only that but how many times in a weekend and for how long and when to stop. Rather you just know him for his content. You have accomplished a lot which congrats to you, and you have content that you are able to direct people to through this article. Best of luck with decision making in the future! Everyone has to understand Tony Robbins game at these seminars.
Its called "immersion brainwashing". Basically you are provided with so much information presented in a rapid fire hyper-active manner that your brain becomes over-stimulated. The fact he often goes of script with mumbo jumbo unrelated information is also intentional in that it contributes to the confusion as the brain is trying to understand and catch up on previous comments. Touching other people is an NLP tactic to promote affirmation and connection all intended to generate and sustain groupthink.
- Why I Walked Out on Tony Robbins;
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- America (My Country, Tis of Thee).
I could go on and on. Bottom line I've carefully watched many videos of TR. I'm Executive Chairman of a Holding Company in which I am either an owner or partner in over 50 companies. There is no viable ROI in any of his seminars and for those that disagree asked yourself if you can verify you have received back dollar for dollar value on your total investment, let alone the miracle Tony Robbins promises.
I'm glad you felt empowered to share! Boy are you getting a lot of free advertising out of mentioning Tony's name especially taking an oppositional verbal stance. Isn't that a bit like name dropping? How your company works with him? Tony is all about emersion to learn and make rapid changes and you got out of the pool before that happened. I won't argue that what you did instead wasn't positive but what you are saying is that staying would have been a waste of your time.
You from your current perspective can't know this it is an oppinion stated as a fact The only way to actually know that would have been to stay. So, your points ARE one sided arguments presented as facts. That dread was your fear. So, I imagine you run away from other situations that make you uncomfortable too. All your above "reasons" are actually deflections. What you did on you days off was so you would not have to come back completely empty handed after saying you would do something.
The final comment I have is, your ego is the size of Texas to tell Tony how you would attend if he made "these" changes. He doesn't need you to approve of any of his courses. Just saying. He sells snake oil. How many people actually "made it"? Why do they keep going to "speakers? Go BACK to your job, and make some money, not giving it to this dude. Oh, you were good for the local economy, too. I don't think that you gave it enough time that first day.
I also felt that it was a bit rah rah cheesy at first, but once you let it flow- it gets much better and on day three when they turn off the lights all that you wanted to fix can be fixed- by you - there I have been twice, both times with co-workers. Fantastic time- you owe it to yourself to see the 3. Great information to be had and what is wrong with little much needed exercise to boot! This is highly embarrassing to admit but I need to share something in the hopes that it helps other people.
You can judge me if you want but I would encourage you not to. But I just went to a big motivational seminar this weekend and I seemed to be really enjoying myself I came back ready to tackle the world. Now some of you will be saying, duh. Day one of the seminar I woke up at 5am, got to the venue at and got in line to register so I could get a good seat. Which was still no where close to when the firewalk that they had been talking about all day was happening. So I stayed until midnight and then said I have to go.
So I left and missed the firewalk. I could barely drive home. Seems like a healthy position to put people in. Day two was much of the same. It feels like you can do and accomplish anything. Which I did. So I had boundless energy and optimism. Tony also suggested that things only change when your shoulds turn to musts. That was until I woke up the next day feeling like a million bricks had hit me. I managed to get myself out of bed and make it to day three for transformation day. That should have been a clue. Transformation day is kept very vague. And the experience is intense. Which is a tell tale sign of mania.
And I sign up for one. I keep hearing the mantras repeated over and over again both from them and in my head. Then they do a business portion of the seminar. They talk about how all these amazing people will be at the Business Mastery program and that proximity is power and tell you if you go back now to sign up then you get half off. Without hesitation I pop up from my seat and go back to sign up. Now this was a choice I made, but the conditions I was put in clouded my judgment beyond the typical realms of what is normal.
The next 24 hours I felt crazy. Over and over. And over. But I was breathing hard and had a massive headache. And went on with my day. Was there valuable info or insight? I called the offices and no one was available to talk to and they said they would call me back in hours, which would be after the 72 allotted period. So yea. I mean I take responsibility for sure. I bought the snake oil.
Why I Walked Out on Tony Robbins
This will definitely go down as one the hardest lessons I will ever learn. You have seen the light of day, unlike those sheep who keep feeding this demon money because they are weak, weak minded, and probably very insecure. Mommy didn't hold them enough. Get out of the basement and keep your money to better yourself. Don't be a sucker. Kep your head up, and move forward You can do this on your own Just go to church. It's free and a whole lot more inspiring than a windbag banging sticks on stage.
I went to UPW twice. I swear but he was over the top. The second time was enough out of control swearing and both my friend and I we both previously attended walked out after the first day. Thank you for sharing how you reached your own conclusion for yourself. Many of these so called enlightment seminars can be dangerous. Yes it all sounds so great and powerful, exactly like a cult. There are several books on this. Scientology started this way. But the thing is we all have it in ourselves to strive and figure life out for ourselves.
Also many really good books that can inspire and not have to dish out thousands of dollars at a so called seminar which always seems to end up in a sales pitch to scale. Also if you need a push and need the rahrah or more friends Who has that much Energy?? Pit Bull performed tonite and he told his story which is nothing short of a miracle This was a fantastic article. I also walked out in LA on day three. I went to Disneyland! I'm listening to a lot of his material and it's definitely helping me but I'm not sure touching strangers would improve my life at the moment.
I get the impression Tony would disagree with your decision to leave but appreciate that you took massive action. Had you stayed till the end, you would have experienced the most powerful part of the event Tony leads an exercise that powerfully helps participants not only destroy limiting beliefs but powerfully replace them with truth. This is what UPW is all about. Much of his advice seems sound, my decision has nothing to do with that. It is the way the information is presented that turns me completely off, but then I am a bit on the conservative side.
I am just an even keel kind of person who likes to think over my decision and motives for where I wish to be in life. If you can convert it to spiritual, more power to you. Oh my goodness. I am literally experiencing this right now. Thank you so much for making me feel less guilty and like less of an asshole for not going back. It is confirmed. I cannot put myself through another day of this.
And on top of it the venue we are at is horrendous. Natalie, I agree with you. I'm at the same UPW as you. I am tired of strangers touching me and this venue is too horrendous to return to unclean restrooms, hard floors, horrible food that you are forced to buy with 14 hour days and no outside food. Today, although it was published that the venue was open at a. Perhaps this was by design - to change our state. It changed my location; I left. I am a Tony Robbins believer; I think he is great.
But I'm too uncomfortable here to be receptive to the material. I rebooked my flight and am on my way home now after leaving the first day at 8pm and only making it to 1pm today in Dallas. A better venue with more food options and a shorter day would have been nice. I feel that all the important points could have been made in a nice hour day.
Should have watched his Netflix show beforehand before deciding to go. The venue was absolute shit, I agree. BUT, Tony bought the venue. So next UPW at the center, we can bring anything we want which will be amazing. No more having to sneak in fruit loops in my pants lol. You are awesome! Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience! I was debating on going myself! Found this very insightful! One I just completed, which led me to your article. For some reason, I alwaysss get uncomfortable watching his videos.
I wanted to see if anyone else felt the same. Sure he has some valid points I sense ego and even a bit of arrogance. Someone who may have had the right intentions at one point, but whose roots now seem to be polluted by ego. Not fillers. He appears to be a master businessman though whose true drive and purpose needs a checkup????? Again, my opinion. I find Gabor Mate wayy more insightful. Believe me, lol. But thank you for your article, validated what I too have felt. I couldn't agree with you more, also Gabor Mate is incredibly insightful.
Also the late great Jacques Fresco would wipe the floor with TR's bullshit. Retaliation is real, legal or not they will stop at nothing. Never go in feeling entitled. Be willing to try what new docs suggest even if you think you know better. Docs are scientists. They conduct experiments with what they have at hand on what seems to be bothering you. That being said, if you get a hurried, hostile vibe from a doc at the first visit, look elsewhere ASAP. Did u make a complaint to medicare Re inappropriate pain med dispensing re this pain clinic.
Did u already fire these docs at this clinic before going To medicare. If u did, then medicare probably checked into Your allegation and may have fined them or are doing an investigation. They are the ones that probably blackballed You in the first place. Remember, you may need them once you are a certain Age. SO, your Complaint to Medicare is not being taken lightly. They probably Went after this clinic.
And I also would like to know How are you not going to provide records. I have the opposite problem you have and I am Being undermedicated while currently going through an acute Exacerbation of a. Very painful neurological disease. I have one of those medicare advantage plans. Also, I read one of my other doctors medical records and I have Been profiled as a drug seeker because of this doc writing A very libelous statement re my appearance, mood, etc.
He also Wrote many other lies, distortions of the truth, statements taken out of original context, omitted statements and the list Goes on. I plan to disenroll but I am afraid other Providers will be biased towards me. But, I cannot tolerate Being with their doctors anymore. As for me, I am going to see what the Americans with Disability Act has to say about refusal to adequately treat A patient in pain.
I am disabled by this pain, unable to work Because of severity of pain. It is a Human Right to have pain treated adequately. I hope my feedback has helped you. Patients with Chronic Pain need to stick together. I habe been discriminated and judged by nurses and doctors when they find out that I am seeing a Pain Management doctor, this one nurse completely changed the way she spoke to me and treated me since. I understand. I have no choice but to live with pain management. Walgreens treated me like a criminal.
I have never even had a ticket in my life. Our crimes??? Living with diseases, illnesses and severe pain. The real criminals are the ones who judge those of us who struggle just to get by daily. Does anyone think I enjoy living half a life, or anyone with chronic pain? We would gladly hand them back to you for a life free of pain, a life free of insomnia and a life free of your ignorance.
Hang in there. We are all in this together. Believe me! Until i started reading here, i thought i was alone. Im probably replying to this late, but i spent 5 hours today crying between phone calls to various doctors and insurance offices. It just feels hopeless. I brought a food journal, which she claimed to have taken a copy and read, so she either just thought i was lying or didnt read my notes, which means shes a liar. Trying to find care any where now is impossible. Im beimg blocked everywhere i call.
Im terrified of even going and feel like id be wasting my copay and insurance cap to pay to be mocked. I totally agree with you Martigras. I have my best friend drive me to all of my appointments as well, because 3 years ago I was diagnosed with disease number 34, CRPS, and was told not to drive if at all possible. Just stopped me instantly which is extremely dangerous and the withdrawals have me wanting to kill myself. It is that bad. But he did let me have my prescription for the 10 m. I asked him what I was supposed to do about the horrid withdrawals and again why was he doing this to me?
By then I was crying. I already take 2 m. Xanax for GAD and have for 24 years! Valium has never done anything for me. He gives me two, 10 m. As with the majority of pain management doctors, mine is an Anesthesiologist. And most of them just love giving those spinal epidural injections even though the majority of my diseases and illnesses that cause me chronic intractable pain have nothing whatsoever to do with my spine, but yes I do have severe osteoporosis and several fractured discs, bulging, torn and herniated as well.
He has never even really cared about any of my other diseases or illnesses. Just concentrates on my spine. The month prior to this appointment, he had asked me to get a letter from my Endocrinologist who had already sent two letters last year and the year prior to that, telling him to STOP giving me the injections because the steroids were destroying my bones and making my severe osteoporosis even worse. He did not care and I had to keep agreeing to get them. Anyway, my Endocrinologist called me after reading my email asking for yet another letter.
We had a nice talk and a few days later he sent me the letter to give to my pain management doctor. My previous specialist prior to getting in with this doctor was a Rheumatologist. And the Neurologist I was seeing said I would never be a candidate for spinal surgery and to never let anyone do it.
He told me if they tried to put in any hardware, my bones would just crumble. Somehow I managed to inherit the osteoporosis at an earlier age than most people. My father had it so bad he lost 8 inches in height. And he got it from his mother and her legs were so deformed with it that poor woman suffered so badly from that. No one would give her anything for the pain. God it was horrendous for her and my father as it is now for me.
Having those injections, and he gave way too many in a year, caused more pain than you can being to imagine. He just simply did not care. He is all about the money those bring in. The first one he ever gave me, he missed and I literally jumped up off the table. I ended up having the most horrible spinal headache OMG! Oh it was terrible. The man has no real medical personnel working for him at all. After the injections he leaves immediately. The doctor or someone with medical experience is supposed to stay with you for at least up to 15 minutes after having one of those. All they do is take my blood pressure and make me sit there for 10 minutes and I go back to the exam room, wait on him to come in with my prescriptions, one of the scribes sets up my next appointment and we leave.
And something else he never does that has always bothered me and is a violation of my privacy, he never closes the exam room door. He has had me pull down my pants, pull up my blouse with other patients right across from me or walking down the hallway. They can hear everything discussed which should be kept private and see everything as well. My friend that takes me finally got sick of it at one point, got up, closed the exam room door and the doctor got upset and opened it back up and put the chair in front of it like they all are done.
Patients have a right to privacy with their doctors! Before I got in with this doctor, I was seeing another one who I found out a few months into seeing him, had been in trouble with the State Medical Board for prescribing himself opioids. He was on 3 years probation the few months I saw him. He even had a Deputy Sheriff that sat up at the front desk and he was the one who handed you your prescription after inputting it into the computer. Until I called my Neurologist and he had me come in and totally freaked out about what I was going through and telling me how dangerous it was to just have the stopped like that.
That it is considered a medical emergency and I should have gone to the hospital and been admitted and given my Morphine. Anyway, he of course ended up helping me until I could get into my current pain doctor. He made a point to let me know if that EVER happened again, to go straight to see him and he would help me out. I wish he was still here! And the pain from the CRPS is the worst pain of anything you could have. Worse than amputation. I found out this disease has no cure and it often affects every organ in the body and many people die from this.
It also affects the skin, veins, arteries, you name it. It is caused by damage to the sympathetic nerve and it can be something you did that was as minor as stubbing a toe. It also causes osteoporosis and needless to say, it has made mine even worse. The bones in my lower legs are deforming and getting worse. The pain from that is terrible. You mean if I was in a car wreck and all busted up or fell and broke bones you would not give me something more for the pain? They never answer that one. My friend and I went to the State Medical Board the next week after that appointment and I filed a formal complaint against him, and they were to have done something by now, but I have not heard one word.
Doctors cannot withhold the very medications you need for the diseases and illnesses you were declared disabled from! My ankles have atrophied to the point I can no longer bend them. My legs are so bad and the pain as I stated earlier, is worse than what I have had going on for over a decade.
It would probably send you off into a huge flare. Anyway, my primary care doctor said he would help me. I cannot take the Clonidine and that stuff is so nasty and I had so many issues after trying to take it years ago when I went those 3 weeks going through withdrawals I just cannot take it. Plus it interacts with so many of my other medications especially my heart meds. God it made everything so much worse. And then once you finish that nasty crap, you have to be weaned off of it too because it causes withdrawals too.
That was also one of my reasons for the report I made against her to the hospital administrator. I realized it was serious and needed to be in a safe place for my own protection. Every urine sample I gave upon admission was negative because I was not using drugs and I told her to check my chart for that information. She just looked at me with this hateful look in her eyes and stormed off the unit. Some one is upset abowt typos or perhaps just mispelling. I would personully never make a egregious speeing error. And …. Mainly—she was top of her class, an immigrant and a female.
She liked that response and showed me her first smile. I was denied hysterectomy for thirteen years just because I look like I am not quite all there. By the time I was granted hysterectomy, it was nearly too late. Even so, my gynaecologist said I could not have surgery without parental consent in spite of being I have a physician friend who was denied a tubal ligation because they did not believe she could make that decision as a 26 year old.
She got it done eventually. No kids. Same thing hapoened to me. My uterus was enlarged to 3x normal size with endometriosis, masses, scar tissue, bleeding spots, and those spider web scars that form between orgams that i cant remember the name of currently. My first surgery for reproductive systems, i was 11 years old. I am so sorry you feel that way, mine is 2 years older than me and is a God send! All doctors are not the issue. A particular age is. All doctors are brainwashed though. I felt that way too. His whole demeanor changed when he found out I was a nurse and did research… and oh, yeah, I had terrible arm pain.
Besides taking an xray for rotator cuff tear he spent the entire visit arguing with me about getting an opioid Rx. I was assaulted and my head smashed on the pavement. I suffer with post concussion headaches. My doctor finally gave me Percocet for the pain. I have to wait almost a month to get into a pain clinic but they want me to up my anxiety meds more vs dealing with the pain.
Probably an emergency room visit for me again. So dumb. I had a concussion 2 years ago; drove myself to Urgent Care and got nothing for pain and was told no OTC analgesics either, no xrays, etc. I too am a victim of patient profiling.
Why I Walked Out on Tony Robbins
Im pretty much textbook bullied by my surgeons. On June 17 I went into surgery to repair a strangulated umbilical hernia, I developed an infection shortly after and the wound opened up. I suffered for three days with fevers excess of my dr made me wait until my appointment to be seen, I asked for some relief but was refused.
Long story short the surgeon put me down as a self mutilator due to some scars on my arms that were at least 15 years or more old accusing me of possibly contaminating my wound, I finally went to a new hospital system for help all went well until my surgeons records were requested. This has been going on a year now where I have developed post surgery abdominal abscesses for unknown reason and I have been labeled as possible munchousen sp I even was assessed by a psychologist and passed with flying colors no mental illness.
Recently I developed another abscess and it has been discovered that my bowel has been leaking and I will need a resection surgery to correct it, but due to the way I have been treated im quite frankly scared to go back to the hospital. I KNOW the terror. I was more scared of abuse in another hospital than death itself. I know exactly what you mean Julie. At this stage I would like to see what is legally possible, but cannot afford a lawyer. Sorry to hear that. I wish you the best and hope things can turn for the better for you. I have been through hell to but I am ready to file suit.
Doctors in my own family are saying do it and I understand how hard it is to get through medical school but this is unacceptable. I am responding to this commenter because I cannot post my own independent comment on mobile. My psychiatrist mistakenly gave me a document stating all of his diagnoses of me. Two of which he never disclosed to me in consultation PTSD and non specified personality disorder. I just left a message on his machine requesting explanation. What else should I do?
Am I overreacting? What should I do before something gets worse? It is a horrible husband and wife team there now that berate new patients and out right tell you to figure out if you are wasting your time. I recorded this visit. In the end I was diagnosed with an infection thru bloodwork I am sick and was told he would not treat it.
Dear Wible. I no Iron in and all blood levels were very low. Vitamin D. Then in I bowel and bladder repair using the mesh. That surgery did turn out well and I had to have to cut the mesh. I feel I being profiled. I could write a book. Think I am crazy. Labeled chronic pain after rear ended; two unnecessary surgeries gone south, still labeled chronic pain. Given mega opiated; got off them but, no help from military hospital where there are tons of incriminating evidence. Mayo also denied care after hernia repair gone wrong — chronic pain.
It takes real strength. Since October I have had some female issues. I am 55, had 3 c-section births, endeometreosis 3 times, and a partial-hysterectomy in Upon a regular checkup in , I went to a nurse practitioner recommended by my mother-in-law. Then, after having some spotting 4 times in 5 months, I decided to go to practioner to be examined the first week in June All 3 of my younger sisters have had endeometreosis each in different cases, along with fibromyalgia. So I have had a concern because of my symptoms. The practitioner ordered a urine test to rule out a uti.
I have had reoccurring bladder infections since the birth of my first child, so I knew it was negative. She also ordered bloodwork and did a swab on me. This all took place from a Tuesday to Friday. Monday I got a call that the swab was negative and Tuesday a call on my bloodwork.
Different lady than from swab results. She was nasty saying I needed to get blood check more than once a year. My husband is self-employed and we have insurance with Christian families to pay as we go and help with major expenses. Then I was prescribed a cream my husband picked up without consulting me. I was sooo upset that I was in tears. First, this cream listed reactions that are the same as my symptoms and warnings to not use for those with MY medical and family history in addition to congestive heart failure, which my dad died of at age I could not get practitioner to call me herself and out of left field, the third call I was told to use the cream and schedule to see a gynecologist.
I have him listed to access my records. He stood in the lobby window and asked 3 times to speak to someone in private. They ignored him and he was forced to tell my situation with patients and other staff around. An office manager was supposed to call me about the rudeness and my situation, but that never happened. We tried a couple more times through the end of June with no results. They would be fined but I would not get any compensation for myself. I just finished a letter requesting my records.
That is horrible!! This is what happens when there is a breakdown in the sacred patient-physician relationship. Too many cooks in the kitchen and nobody knows the stove is on. Believe me, we did not go to medical school to treat patients like crap. Third parties have inserted themselves in between doctors and patients and created a culture of chaos and distrust that makes it very hard to provide health care.
Wish you lived down the street. There is a map of ideal clinics on my website. Check it out and maybe I can help you find a new more ideal doctor. I agree. Profit over patient care is the norm when it comes to these large and powerful institutions. Bad experiences are incentive for those of us without money to find new and innovative ways to get well. I am amazed at how well people do once they realize that you CAN take your body back from corporate control. I had a filling that I needed to get done by on my lower left tooth professionally referred to as When they placed the original crown in my mouth, I absolutely loved the way my smile looked and felt.
That was because my smile felt more symmetrical and I felt prettier, which was a significant psychological benefit as a trans person actively seeking to transition. However, my doctor made a minor adjustment to the crown, which tragically led to that feeling being ripped from me, as my smile went back to the way it was before, which was a problem for me. Disgruntled and feeling completely disempowered as a trans person, my doctor and his staff not only repeatedly misgendered me, but also used my lack of presentation in feminine clothing as a piece of evidence with which to patient profile me as drug addled after a mildly contentious dispute, wherein I questioned their authority as a dental official, the dispute was about the crown that was originally doctored and I was asking if that situation could be remedied.
That being said, I am looking for a new doctor; someone with equal credentials but better patient service in the area. I wrote this post inquiring as to whether or not I had a legal options for being unfairly patiently profiled? In NYS trying to find a lawyer to hire is like finding a doctor for reasonable medial care…. We need to organize ourselves… not just doctors or patients… that puts up barriers. Joss, this is just my opinion, but part of the problem is that physicians have considerably to put it mildly more funds than you do to get the finest attorneys, malpractice insurance, the power to label you as any kind of person they want to and unfortunately much of society still has the opinion that because they are in a position of being held up as more respectable, unquestionably honest and of a better class of people than Mr.
Joe Citizen…that they are not to be questioned about even obviously bad behavior. Some people are even in awe of them and would never question their judgement or morals. They are human beings just like you and I and just as flawed…believe me. They are in a position of power and trust and have the ability and means to decide if you will live or die. Think about it. They make judgements based on your physical condition because they have confidential information regarding your health history and have been trained to do physical examinations and be aware of a serious medical condition you could possibly have such as a serious heart problem or a deterioration of your vision that leads to blindness.
Anesthesiologists have your body in an altered state on an operating table and have control of your very life when you are completely vulnerable, they order testing of all kinds and have the knowledge of those results, your complete medical history, allergies some of which can be deadly for you if you are very sensitive to a certain drug and cause you to go into say, anaphylactic shock which can kill you and prescribe medications that you trustingly put into your body without question unless you are a sceptic like some people I know lol or just are a fairly informed person who checks out a PDR first…a book that gives info on drugs commonly used by medical professionals…there are books out there not as complicated that are more understandable for the general public, before putting anything in your body lol.
Enough of this rant. I guess after you get burned a few times you just get a bit jaded. I dread the day he retires. I have had some really great doctors and some not so great, But a couple I have had as my doctor or have worked with in a medical setting had the truth be known…OH MY! Need I say more? I am very imperfect and do not mean to sound holier than thou, but have the need to get certain things off my chest. I have heard of someone who was a patient that almost died when in a very good smallish hospital that was given a drug or combination of drugs that came close to killing them and had to rushed to a major medical center and it was hushed up.
Outrageous sounding but a true story.! My doctor profiled me as a Hypochondriac as a teenager. She was convinced that everything I experienced was related to puberty stress. However, when the symptoms continued long after puberty and even multiplied, she insisted they were due to the stress of college. Many of these symptoms were serious red flags like unexplained weight gain, insomnia, depression, very dramatic mentrations and the delays between them, unexplained periods of extremely high blood pressure, etc. I rarely ever get anxious about anything without due cause, and these were very serious symptoms that needed to be addressed.
So, to be labeled as someone with GAD was an incredible insult to both myself and people who truly suffer from it! It was a humiliating experience that I never want to go through again! He prescribed them and it helped so much. In addition, I am forced to fill out a long survey about my smoking every time I go for a visit. I have to listen to some young girl lecture me about smoking for ten minutes before seeing the doctor on every visit as well.
I have already had a doctor misdiagnose me. Thank god my child does not have it! This doctor totally dismissed my symptoms because I am a smoker. Can I sue my current doctor for discrimination? Punishing me does not encourage me to quit. Do the folks with diabetes get a survey on how many bags of chips they eat?
Do diabetics get medication withheld that could relieve their suffering? Does some 19 year old come in and give them a lecture on putting down the fork?
Just wondering…. Good points. Health care by robot automatons. By electronic medical record prompts and algorithms. Generally you have to prove a bad outcome due to deviation from community standard of care. Assembly-line medicine is not health care. Thank you for caring enough to just talk about this subject.
Please stop assuming every patient is drug seeking, lying, uneducated, homeless, overweight, a wife beater, a child abuser or beneath you, simply due one fact…they did not walk your path. Your path of opportunity. They all will be a patient one day and if there is justice they will remember every patient they misjudged and mistreated. We never intended to harm anyone. We came to medical school just wanting to help people. Sadly, we were dehumanized in our training and abused. Hey, I am an other statistic.
I have been in chronic pain for fifteen years, Pudental Neauralgia and IC. Nerve pain can not be seen by the naked eye nor the best X-Ray equipment. Every doctor acted the same, dismissive, looked at me as if I was a pill instead of a human being who needed support. I received no medication. My anxiety heighten every time I had to see a physician. My fear of mental abuse keep me away from clinics, even when I needed help.
My anxiety got so bad I could not stand, becoming weak and numb. I finally made an appointment, hopeful for some guidance, the whole visit I sobbed uncontrollably. She told me to do yoga, and said I was to complicated for the clinic. I was dismissed with no medication or any direction.
I was devastated! I can not stop crying, feeling abandoned. I am seeking a phychiatrist hoping and praying he will help me. We all need to talk about our experices to support each other. Remember you are not alone. Write your State Senator to help pass a law against physicians profiling and discrimination.
We have a disease of chronic pain that needs support, compassion, understanding, and Love. I am in a situation now my health is being neglected. I recently got my disability because I have such severe neuropathy I fall, I want feel my feet and I will just fall. These are not even the only medical problems I have.
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But I had a doctor for near 20 years had me on strong pain meds for the problems. I had a good job and Insurance. Then I lost my job and I fought for 3 years to pay for my Insurance under cobra. And then lost out my unemployment stopped. Well In the meantime I was loosing everything my trailer my car got repossessed. And had to move into a hotel well both my daughters were living with me and we had to have an apartment type suite so I had to have a boarder to share expenses so I let a friend of mines daughter also live with us she was 29 just like my married daughter and my youngest was almost Well one of them or there friends stole a zanax RX from me and even though I was going to prosecute my own family, I had police report and turned it over to the FBI not only did the doctor cut me off and also did not take me seriously neither did the FBI.
So I have been through hell even getting my disibility. Thank god I did. But the doctor that helped me was 90 years old and retired. He referred me to the pain clinic at this county clinic that is for less fortunate and I was treated kindly at first he retired and within 6 months I was discharged out of the clinic. Mine is a long story and this is only a short portion of it. But I am starting to think I am crazy and need to see psychiatric help.
And this is very serious and true. Thanks for Listening Donna in Birmingham. You are not crazy Donna! This past November after 25 years of trying to get a diagnosis for the low back and hip pain I had been experiencing along with constant GI issues, I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Ehler Danlos Syndrome, and Fibromyalgia. I have lost joints due to fusion. There is still a preconceived notion among Doctors that women cannot have AS. I have been prescribed anti-depressants to deal with what I know now is an autoimmune disorder, and a genetic condition that allows too much space in my joints which causes constant pain.
I do not even ask for opiates due to the stigma attached to it anymore. I have had pharmacists refuse to fill my scripts. I have had emergency rooms refuse to prescribe anything stronger than Tylenol. If Tylenol worked I would take it and never need medical intervention. I have given birth to four children and that did not hurt worse than a AS flare. It is a sad day when Doctors who swore an oath to do no harm are more concerned of a malpractice suit due to narcotics than actually caring for the patient in front of them.
It is a sad day when patients are required to urinate in a cup to receive medication. No other class of patients are required to submit a urine screen to obtain their meds. Some medications are equally as addicting. It cannot but appear we are profiled and targeted. For me it would be easy to obtain verification through my medical records that I do indeed have a condition, infact several, that causes chronic pain. I know enough to make sure I see the same doctors for my conditions. I go to the same pharmacy yet I know I am in a database identifying me as an opiate user.
No other information as to diagnosis or medical history is in that database.